HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Welcome to 2008... what will this year hold...

It's crazy that another year has past

I am discovering, as life presses on, that each day seems shorter
each moment, more a gift... that must be enjoyed and embraced
not always looking for the tomorrow... for tomorrow is not yet
and when we have tomorrow we wish for yesterday back....
oh my heart seems in this battle of the tomorrow verses today at all moments
I want to embrace every moment I have now, yet I cling to what I have had, and I dream of what I wait for....
Why is it so difficult to live in the now... to try and just simply love and enjoy what I have been given, even if what I have been given is not what I want...
I wish this thing called self would die....
That I could just be gratful for what I have, where I am and what I am doing with this thing called my life, which really isn't mine to begin with....
somedays, I think it would be easier if I just didn't dream....

all this wishing and hoping won't change... rather prayer and a changed heart will help pave the way..

hmmmm what will 2008 bring...

Man facebook has taken over xanga in my life.
My bad... !

Christmas is almost here! Seems somewhat unreal to me at this point in time. Not sure why either
We have over  a foot of snow, and unless for some weird reason the weather goes all wacky warm, it is safe to say I will have my white Christmas.
Last year it was a green Christmas, and needless to say I was a bit on the disapointed side...

But regardless of all that meaningless stuff... it is great to be able to reflect, rejoice, and remember how loving, purposeful and wonderful our God truly is...

I graduated school at the end of October, I am just working on my apprenticeship now.
I do enjoy doing hair for the most part, but I don't feel contented with the idea of doing it forever.
And somedays the idea of being stuck here is kinda scary...
I know that hairdressing will open doors for me... and I am trying to think of it as more as a means to and end, rather then the rest of my life...

I'm thinking about counselling....? I still love the whole mentorship thing.... I am hoping that the Lord will bring me more opportunity for that in the future...
Right now, a girl and I from my youth group are going to start my core.... the one that I had thought I would have at the HA... God had other plans, and a year and a half later, it looks as though my vision will have meaning, and a group of girls, who will take on that name, and will be unified...

Hmm...
I miss Beloved... so much... come to me....

   life at any given moment can throw us unexpected twist and turns...
things that totally take you off gaurd and you can only stand there speachless

some days I don't know how to respond
some days I don't know how I'am supposed to love
some moments I feel so weak and broken that I don't know how to go on

I build walls around, hoping that in some way this will gaurd me from feeling the things I don't want to deal with
but when the wind blows and the waves come, my walls come crashing down all around me...
and I find that I am standing all alone, exposed and completely vulnerable... afraid to speak or move..
the tears roll down, and i fall to my knees... broken

and in that moment, when I am weak, he becomes my strength...
I ran so hard, so long, trying it on my own, only to be brought back yet again to His throne, where  I am reminded yet again, I was never meant to do this on my own...
I am silly, foolish really... knowing what I know, yet testing it again and again.. only being brought back to this place where I am shown... that I am his, and He is mine...

Wow.. it's been some time since I wrote on here!

Life is going... so much happening at once... school full time and 3 friends are getting married, and I am standing up in all 3 weddings!!!

I finish school on Oct 23... that day could not come soon enough... having to go through school during the summer is the pits 8-5 monday- friday.. only on the Lords strength am I able to do this,..

But what I need from YOU is PRAYER!!!!

It has been extremely hard to be there... surrounded by people who don't know Jesus, and don't want to know him... I feel soo inadequate most days.. and hardly know how to handle myself when converstaions, like today, happen...
people who think it cool to make fun of him... think he smoked weed.. think God is all a big joke... and openly say, I'm going to hell and I don't care...

this BREAKS my <3   and I don't know what to say or do half the time...
I try and live my life to glorify him and to represent who Jesus is.. but it never feels like enough.. but I know He must change their hearts not I....

Please pray for these girls...

love

Sheens

"Change comes as sure as the seasons and twice as quick. We make our peace with it as best we can. Or as Amy said when she was still a little girl  'We'll all grow up some day Meg, we mind-as- well know what we want' " 
                                                                                                                             ~Jo~ Little Women

This pretty much is the best way to sum up what is happening in my life..
change.. and lots of it.. and those of you who know me well, know that I don't cope very well with it, especually when it comes in rather large, unexpexted chunks...

please pray for me